Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Tips for meeting Mommy friends.
Face it.. When we become moms a lot of the time we have no social life. except maybe the few minutes we have on facebook and Instagram here and there.. And when we do go out with old childless friends it can get kind of awkward at times due to the fact they're sitting there telling you all about their life while you're trying to calm and pay attention to your toddler (unless they're like some of my childless amazing friends who buy Evie cookies and love on her!) Honestly though, whether or not your childless friends are amazing (like mine) You NEED Mommy friends. Because sometimes nothing feels better then getting together with friends who also have kids around your age to entertain each other so you ladies can have social time to talk, drink coffee together and encourage one another.
When I first had Evelynne my only friend who was a new mom as well lived in NC at the time. We were actually prego buddies. So I often felt quite lonely at times because I felt like I had no one who understood me and what I was going through as a new mom.
And then when Evelynne was about four months old I ran into a mom on one of our walks and her oldest daughter who was the cutest thing walked up and talked to me telling me how cute my baby was which led her and I to small talk about our kids, how old they were and exchanging adorable baby compliments. She has a son that's only three months older than my Evie and from there on we've grown from being play date buddies to actual friends.She gave me my first taste of what a play date was and how fulfilling it was for a mom and the kid too! After our first play date I remember Evelynne taking a 3 hour nap.. Which has never happened before! I was a fan.
Since then it has been a main goal of mine to build a community and just befriend as many moms as I could. It's so much fun (when the moms are down to earth that is) It's really hard for me to enjoy conversations when moms are all about correcting other moms.. If you're one I still love you, though!
I've been asked many times on how I make Mommy friends so easily.. So, I thought I'd share it with all the Mommys in the world.
Honestly. it's really simple.. I think the only reason why it's so hard for many of us is because we're either shy, too consumed with our kids, we feel awkward just randomly talking to other women, ooor we've been under a cave for so long that we've forgotten how to socialize! So, with that being said here is some advice.
1. Get out// Parks, gyms, libraries, mommy and me classes. Go to their watering hole. Places like that where we are almost forced to socialize can make it so much easier to make friends.
2. Start a conversation// Or at least try too. If you're pushing your kid on the swing right next to a mom who is pushing her kid on the swing who looks around the same age as your kid talk to them. start out by saying "He's so cute! How old is he?" and see where the conversation goes from there. You could always make a statement on how nice the weather is today, or where did you get your kid's shoes? they're so cute!" We moms always like to hear that our wardrobe choice is appreciated. ;)
Small talk can easily turn into a play date opportunity however if it doesn't, don't loose heart. Truth is most of us moms are desperate for a good mommy friendship just as much as you are! Seeee!!!
3. Start a group// I haven't done this, yet! But I do plan too once we move and get our own place. Maybe you could put an add out there or join a group from Mops or Thrive moms or look into a group in your community that is already leading one.
Aaaaaand I'm just throwing this out there! I believe every mom should start a blog! You know, that's if socializing and writing is your thing. ;) I've met so many amazing mamas through blogland that have not only become my sisters but have filled me so much!