Keeping God first in your Marriage. Featuring: Charlene Maugeri

 I'm gonna start this post out honestly by saying that Leon and I have not always been the perfect example of putting God first in the business of our lives. I still don't think that now. However, we've gotten better!

 He's a full time cop and I'm a full time mom. He works at night and I'm with the kiddos during the day. When he's awake I'm sleeping and when I'm awake he's sleeping.

Get my point? We rarely see each other most days and we've used our busyness as an excuse to not read the bible together or pray together. And in doing that two years ago ended out with a very bad taste in our mouths. We had little intimacy, we argued almost every day and with him being a cop he was letting the influence of swearing and getting angry easily  take over him which led to.. well, more arguing.

However, things changed last October when he had a 20 day vacation. We both just changed and desire even more of God. In one night Leon's anger left him and he were love birds all over again. Now our goal and passion is to put God first in our lives. Ahead of our busyness, of our children and each other. We desire to be overwhelmed by Him and not overwhelmed by the busyness of our days.

We read devotionals when we're together and when He's working I'll send him a sermon I've been listening too or a verse I loved that day.  I wish I could say that we spend hours together every day in prayer but it's just not that way yet and hopefully once his full time Pastor lifestyle comes through we'll be able to do that. I deeply admire spouses who can!

So, here are some ways Leon and I keep God first in our marriage and communicate Jesus to each other.

1. We pray together.. Not everyday (like we should) but we do as often as we can. However, when we're not praying together, we're praying for each other. which is just as good in my opinion. Man there's  power in prayer!

2. We read the bible and devotionals when He's off of work. On days He's not working we'll read a devotional together before we go to bed. We love reading Devotionals by Bill Johnson, Joseph Prince and just anything that brings us in the Awesomeness  of God's love and power.

We'll also listen to sermons together.. We love Todd White! Also Bill Johnson and a lot of Marriage wisdom sermons.

3. We pray with our children. Now this is something him and I do before we put Evelynne (our daughter) to bed. We give her a kiss, read her a story and we pray together. It's my favorite looking around the room with all of our hands held together and talking to Jesus as a family.

4. I write Leon love notes with scripture telling him how much I love him and how proud I am of him with a scripture to brighten his day. Writing is my language and that's a form of communication that I have always shown him.

5. And when he's not working on Sundays we ALWAYS make it a priority to be at church.. It doesn't matter how many times My 3 month old Liya girl has kept me up. :)


 Take it away Charlene. :)

You know what? Pearson and I are very busy. Especially Pearson. Did you know that getting a PhD is hard and time consuming? Shocker, right? But in all seriousness, Pearson really isn't home a lot. Most nights he gets home at 9 or later and he works Saturdays too. And while I may not work so much for my job, I also take care of a dog, do housework, write a blog, and am very involved with church by teaching children's classes, hosting showers and all sorts of other things.

But you know what? There is always someone out their busier. I mean, we don't even have kids yet. I can remember how busy I was as a kid going from piano lessons to ballet then straight to softball practice all in one day. And my mom had to take me all those places and figure out how to get my brother where he needed to be also.

Life is busy. That word is thrown around all the time. And I think The Devil tries to use our business to keep us out of Gods word and stop us from talking to our Creator. I think Satan tries to trick us into thinking we don't have time for God today and makes us forget our priorities. And a lot of times, he succeeds.

So here are some ideas to help you keep God first in your busy marriage.

1. Pray with your spouse. I don't care how late it is, how tired you are or any of those excuses, pray together before you go to sleep. Pray about things that happened that day, hopes you have for the next day, your future together and anything else you need to bring to God. Make it a habit. Pray together before every meal. Pray together at other special times. Just always be in prayer together.
2. Pray for your spouse. I tell you, there is not much else you can do to feel closer to your spouse than to lift him or her up in prayer. Ask him how you can pray for him. Pray constantly for his safety, his confidence at work, any problems or doubts he's having that he told you about, and his spirituality. 
3. Study the Bible together. We definitely don't do this as often as we should but we try to read a short devotional together before bed every night. It's very important to constantly study and grow your own faith through scripture, but it's just important to grow your faith together as a couple.
4. Make Church a priority. Go to church every time the doors are open and get involved. Find out where you can help as individuals but also as a couple. And if your spouse ever doesn't feel like going, set an example and go by yourself anyway. The result might surprise you.
5. Go to God with conflicts. When people fight with their spouses (or anyone for that matter), usually the first instinct is to run to friends or family and rant about the issue. We tell other people our side of the story and sometimes blame the other party and put them in a bad light. Instead of running to other people, we should run to God. Take the issue up with the Man Upstairs on your own and maybe He'll show you your fault. Take the issue to The Father together with your spouse and maybe He'll help you find an answer.
6. Treat God's word as your first source of marriage counsel. I tell you, there is a lot of wisdom in that book. If you have questions about anything going on in your life, you can probably find answers in the Bible, but especially marriage. Explore the topic and soak in the wisdom.
7. Find other Christian couple friends to spend time with. It's certainly important to make friends with people who have similar beliefs and values as yourself but as a couple it's important to make friends with couples in this category. Being friends with people in similar stages of life is such a blessing. You are experiencing much of the same things in life and can help each other on your journeys.

They say "I'm missing out."

I'm twenty three years old.. I've been married for almost three years. I have one beautiful little girl and I have another one on the way coming December.

My Instagram is entirely full of my little person and husband.

And my bedtime is no later then 9:30 and 10:00 at the latest if I'm trying to catch up on something.

My definition of fun is family trips to the farm or park.

And the greatest pieces of art I carry are scribblings from a almost two year old and thoughtful words from a Beloved.

So what blows my mind really is when someone tells me or mentions that women like me. Who marry young and start a family are "missing out."

Missing out on opportunities, college, having a life, being successful, traveling the world, Having fun, partying, getting a great career and making a substantial amount of money.

But you know what? Maybe I never wanted to go to college?

Maybe I wanted a family to travel the world with?

Maybe my definition of fun is spending time with a family I call my own.

Maybe my definition of partying is having a tea party with a very special girl.

And just maybe my goal in life isn't to make a substantial amount of money but instead to seek first The Kingdom of God and let Him apply everything else in my life.

Did they ever think about that?

I have no need or desire to cross off every country as places I lived or visited before I turn thirty. Even though that would be pretty cool.

I have no desire for a huge house, nice car and everything a great career offers. I don't need that.

Because my number one goal in life is to serve, minister and to bring joy to others.

To lay down my life as a living sacrifice and serve the One who gladly laid down His life for me.

A girl who was helpless.

And for me, what better way to do that then to marry a man and raise little humans.

To be in a place where my life is never about me and my will is never mine but instead it's over there changing diapers and continuing to choose joy in stressful situations.

To live with a man that doesn't fill my every need and isn't meant to however,  I serve him with everything I am anyways.

My life.. It's hard, stressful but Oh so worth it! Because even though my life isn't about me Jesus never fails to favor me and pour blessings over me.

Because when we're all about Jesus and when we do things for His glory and not our own. He really makes it about us.

If anyone were to ask  me why I married so young and quickly became a mom. My answer would certainly be this:

"Being a wife and mom has not only been my life dream, it's also my calling in life. A calling to be needed, to minister, to teach, to serve, to raise and to choose others before myself."

 And in this place of giving there is really nothing more fulfilling here on earth then to be a mom. I never wanted to live life for me first because I have found in this life journey that a life is more beautiful when you give it away.

I'm not missing out, but instead I have gained so much more then living any other life in this world.


 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. 
-Proverbs 31:28

My Advice for a successful Marriage {Guest post}

*This is a guest post by Charlene @ From Bisons to Buckeyes Hey readers of Like a Morning Cup of Coffee! I wanted to share some tips for a successful marriage with you guys. Because I'm an expert after being married for a year and a half, right? Not really, but I have some experience and I can share what I've learned.

So, here goes.

1. Don't stop dating after you get married. Just because you're married now doesn't mean you can stop trying to impress your spouse. Even though you spend a lot of time together now that you are married and you live together, you still need to set aside special time to spend together. Get dressed up and feel pretty. Do things you don't normally do. Spend quality time and conversation together away from the TV. My husband and I try to make sure we go on at least one date per week, and watching TV at home doesn't count.
2. Try to have dinner as a family every night. This is in addition to a weekly date night. We try to have dinner together whenever possible. If my husband comes home after work in time for dinner, but he still has a lot of homework to do, we at least make time for dinner at the table before he gets started.
3. Put away technology as much as possible. When I am spending time with my husband, I try to not even have my phone on me, but it's tough. I know some people have "no technology in the bedroom" rules. I at least don't have it with me at the dinner table.
4. Don't stop flirting after you get married. Both you and your spouse still need to feel loved, wanted, and attractive. Be the type of parents that make your kids sick. Kiss goodbye in the morning, greet each other with a kiss and hug at the end of the day. Send texts in the middle of the day just to say you're thinking about them.
   
5. Go to bed angry. If you are having an argument, sometimes you need sleep on it and you will be more rational in the morning.
6. When you argue, don't bring up past arguments. Pearson and I attended a weekend marriage seminar when we were engaged and this was one of the big points. The couple presenting this point said that after they have a fight, they flush the argument down the toilet. Literally. They write the problem down on a piece of paper throw it in the toilet and flush. This somewhat ridiculous gesture helps them remember that the issue is over and will not affect future conflicts. You see, when you unnecessarily bring up old arguments, it only fuels the fire and doesn't help anything. Everybody makes mistakes, but we learn from them and move on.
7. Don't try to change your spouse. If you don't like something, try to change your own perspective and your attitude and see where that gets you. You didn't get married to change your spouse, you got married because you love the person he is!
8. Hold hands everywhere you go.
9. Listen to each other. Sometimes your spouse isn't looking for a solution. They just want you to listen and sympathize. 
10. Tell each other how you feel. Even if it seems trivial. Your spouse wants (or should want) to know about you. I learned this one from reading The 5 Love Languages. Sharing is as much a part of quality conversation as listening is. If your spouse's primary love language is Quality Time/Conversation like my husband, then their love tank will never be full if you don't share what you are feeling.
    
11. Never stop "studying" your spouse. Get that PhD in your wife or husband. A lot of people told us this before we got married. It goes along with some things I said earlier. Don't stop paying attention to your spouse after you get married. You do NOT know everything there is to know about them. And besides, people change as they get older so there is always something new to learn.
12. Be intentional about loving your spouse. Once you are out of the "in love" and "infatuation" stage and reality sets it, it might not be so easy to love your spouse on a daily basis. If you choose to love them no matter what, it will eventually become a habit again.
13. Encourage your spouse with your words. This means to speak kindly even if something negative needs to be said. It means to encourage him or her to do things that they want to do (not that you want them to do). And it means making requests of them as an equal, not demands as an authority. This one is hard for me because it is my natural tendency to nag, but there is always a way to get across what needs to be said in a kind way.
14. Don't compare your marriage to other people's marriages. You are two individual and unique people so your marriage is unique as well. What works for other people might not work for you and vice versa. Comparing only brings negative things to light and nothing good can come of it.
15. And last but not least, keep God first. What does this look like? Pray with your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Study the Bible with your spouse. Go to God with conflicts in your marriage. Make the Church and the Bible a priority. Find other Christian couple friends to fellowship with.

This certainly is not an exhaustive list, and I know I have a lot more to learn but I hope this post has been an inspiration to you. What would you add to my list?

If you enjoyed this post, be sure to check out my monthly marriage goals, my post about The 5 Love Languages, and my tips for arguing with your spouse.

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What my favorite day of the week looks like.

Because I'm a cops wife my weekends don't fall on Saturdays and Sundays (unless a miracle takes place!) Instead it usually falls on a weekday. Also with Leon working night shift and sometimes court the next morning I only get one day with him because some days he has court on his day off and if not he has to sleep because he worked the night before. it can be hard sometimes because it's like he's not even there for a whole six days. When he's up I'm sleeping and when I'm up he's sleeping. We can't talk, or text or anything. So you can imagine the one day he is off that it's the best day of the week for me.

We start out our morning with a yummy breakfast that either Leon makes or we usually make together. These past two weeks I have begged Leon to make his yummy french toast. He seriously makes the best ever!

While we're eating some la french toast we drink up some coffee.. Leon is a new coffee lover.. Yes, he converted! I must say I'm so happy he did. I'm hoping now we can share the same love for cute coffee mugs and the sweet smells coffee has to offer.

After coffee and breakfast I get some "me" time that is long over due by the end of the week. It's so nice to be able to read, write and drink and not stop or pause until you're done.. Sigh, it's the little things.

During Evelynne's nap (after lunch)  Leon and I kinda chill. He sits on his phone playing youtube and I do what all bloggers do.. blog haha!

After she wakes up we do some family time. Which is always my most favorite part of the day.

After that it should be around dinner and who cooks on their favorite day of the week?? Not me! At least not all the time. If we're eating out this is the day of the week we usually do it on. We either eat as a family or if Leon and I desperately need alone time we'll go on a date.

By the time we get home and eat the goodness it's about Evelynne's bed time. So I get her ready and Leon prays sweet sleep over her.

And then Leon and I do whatever we want for the rest of the night. It's so much fun! We usually watch movies and eat junk, or take a drive and talk about what we've been up to and communicate our feelings to one another. When you have a distance relationship (which we kinda do)  It's so important to communicate every chance you get! Boy am I learning that.
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Why does your  favorite day look like? :)

Over coffee.

With all this crazy snow weather I thought we'd have a coffee date. Shall we?

If I were having coffee with you I'd tell you that God was doing some amazing things in my life.. I've mentioned before that Leon and I were getting an apartment in April but plans have certainly changed. At Church last Sunday The Lord told both my Mother in law and I separately  that He wanted us to stay together for one more year.. We both didn't want to hear it and in fact His words were ignored for most of the day until I just blurted out and said "Do you guys think we're actually done here?"  And that's all she wrote. We all talked and ended with happy tears.. The Lord told me that I still have so much to learn from these wonderful ladies and they still have things to learn from me and by the end of this year blessings will flow for all of us.. I don't know about you but by the end of this year I'm believing for a house! I mean why not? God wants us to dream big!

I'd also tell you that God has been leading me to start a mommy's group.. If you have been following me long enough you'd know that at the momento Leon and I are a one car family.. It has been super hard especially with an active toddler.. I've been so upset recently because I see all these moms putting their kids in gym classes and mommy and me classes and see that in reality it's just not possible for us right now with Leon working all the time. So I've decided I'd going to start my own mommy group! So excited about that. If any of you mama's, nanny's or whosoever has a great idea and name idea for a mommy group please feel free to share. I plan on starting it in April so I have one month to plan!

If I were having coffee with you that I've started the process of writing my first E-book devotional! My heart is just so full of excitement and I'm so excited to finish it for all of you to read. It's going slow at the moment because I'm learning to let go and let God. I'm learning to not rush through it just to get it done but only go to it when God gives me the inspiration to do so. I want this devotional to be His letter to you and not my letter to you.

I'd tell you how I've been thinking about the influence conference a lot lately and all the beautiful women who I'd love to meet there.. I honestly can't tell you how bad I want to go but I've also made the decision recently that I'd only go if donations were made. You see, I've made a commitment since day one into blogging that I would never put it first before my family.. Even though I have failed in that area a few times I try hard to keep to it and I feel as though if I were to take money out of our account to save for the conference I'd be stealing from Evelynne.. I want to put as much as possible away for her and her future..




If I were having coffee with you, I'd tell you how much I can't believe that the little girl walking running around my house, reading books and slowly putting words together is the same baby I sobbed over when I met her for the first time! Is her 15 month update really coming up next week??

This winter has been the craziest winter ever!! Just snow after snow after snow and then we get rain after rain after rain and then ice! It's been a hard winter folks but a plus side is I get to watch my man shovel the the driveway! He's sooo cute when he works.

This is what I would tell you if I had the pleasure of having coffee with you this morning. 
What would you tell me?

The very Random Link Up #6 "The Girl behind the blog".

Before I go anything further.. I want to wish my favorite person in the whole world a Happy 23rd Birthday!!!
               
Happy Birthday Leon! God has seriously shown me favor by blessing me with you for my husband.Words can't even describe my love and admiration for you.. Evie and I are so incredibly blessed to have you as the man in our lives!

Now where were we?? Oh yea!!

It's Tuesday!! Which means it's time for The Very Random Link up!!
Hosted by me and my girl Sarah!  

Did you happen to see her recipe from lasts week link up!?! It's a must try!!!

The very random Link up is not your ordinary link up. We will be doing topics different months.

Example: A vlogging month, about me month, and trying new recipes month.

One of my most favorite things about blogging is the relationships that come with it. the relationships that start out as a fellow blogger and turns into  a friend or even  a sister.

That is what these two ladies above have become in the last year. We've started out as fellow bloggers, to friends, to sisters and it is just so so amazing how God could use such a thing as blogging to bring us together. and we want that same relationship with you. That's why Sarah and I decided to start this fun random link up is because we wanted to find fun ways to get to know you and meet more of you! Will you join our very random community? 

 Each Month Sarah and I will pick a topic. It may be a vlogging month, a month of encouraging posts. anything. Some months we'll ask the questions and other months we just want to hear your thoughts and your heart. Have a topic or question  idea?  We'd love to hear it!

 

Today's question is:

 Who is your favorite person & why?

My most favorite person in the whole world is someone I have admired greatly since day one.

He loves the Lord with all of His Heart And His fire for God is so contagious.

He is a missionary Police officer in the most dangerous district in our state and is changing so many lives down there. And then he comes home to his wife and beautiful daughter.

This man is my husband.

He isn't just my favorite person  because he's my husband by the way.. He's my favorite person because he was by best friend before he was my hubby wubby! 

He is the only one who can bring out the "man" laugh in me.

 He irritates me like no other!
He likes to surprise me with Starbucks every now and then.
He knows when to be gentle towards me and he knows when to be straight forward.

Leon Balances me as a person.. He's got my back in the places I struggle in. Like organization, being prepared, and learning to enter the fast paced life sometimes when I'd rather just slow down. We are so different and it's a good thing! 

Leon is such a hard worker! I always enjoy watching him work not just because he's a major hunk but also because I love to see him put his all into something. When he's task minded he doesn't stop until he's finished. I've always thought he would be amazing at opening his own landscaping business because yard work is his specialty! Not so much as planting but he sure knows how to make things look beautiful along with hard work such as digging and all that man stuff. But God had other plans for Him to become an officer.

           
       
Leon is a wonderful Husband and Father! He tries his hardest to give us his all when he's off and the way he is with Evie just melts me sometimes.

 Again we balance each other out as parents and we are constantly learning from each other. Disciplining for instance. Evie use to have mama wrapped around her finger and I used to call Leon a military discipliner. We really had to come together to be in oneness about how we would handle things when I was letting her get away with to much and he wasn't letting her breath without his permission haha. Finally, I came up and he came down.. And instead of butting heads in parenting we balance each other wonderfully!

He's also the roller coaster daddy for sure!
He does everything that Evie loves that mama is to afraid to do haha!

              
             

Who is your favorite person and why?

 

    2/18 What is a passion that you have that you don't normally blog about? 
              

          Have fun and Link up!

In our Marriage we:

desire  to look and be like this everyday.

totally agree with this!



& especially me. We need to be reminded of this.


absolutely believe this is the way it should be.. Especially in Marriage.




say "Amen" to this!  And praise God because of His Truth.. In this season of life we are in right now. It's so easy to get  frustrated, down, and just upset. And for me with Leon working all the time at night. It's easy to feel lonely too! But we know that we are not victims but we were made to overcome. Leon and I are going through hard times right now.. But we hold tight to the awesome truth that God isn't finished yet..  And instead of letting our emotions be ruled by "circumstances" We make our circumstances be moved by our faith. Amen!

know that with Christ we can do all things.. Heal the sick, raise the dead. and do the impossible for The Glory of Jesus Christ and only in His Powerful Name.. We know that if we ask God for anything together in His Name. It will be done.

We know that "tough" seasons in life can be just as refreshing as a "good" season. It really just depends on how your attitude is and how you choose to look at it... You can either be moved by your circumstances or take control of them and refuse to let it steal your joy.. You'd be surprised by how quickly a "tough" circumstance can change into a good one.

Though this is a hard season in life for Leon and I right now. We hold tight that there is a plan and a future for us and we know that now and at the end of it all God will get all the glory out of our Marriage and this experience in life is going to minister to millions of young married couples one day. We know that Jesus will take what the enemy has tried to make for bad and use it to do amazing things! Because God is just awesome and groovy  in that way! (yes, I said groovy! Don't judge meee! 

 

Ps. Don't forget to link up with Sarah and I for tomorrow's Link up!!  We wanna know who your favorite person is and why? :)

The day I caught my hubby watching Downton.

 
I've always loved British shows.. More so the one's that are historically inspired. Which comes to no surprise that the first time I watched Downton Abbey I was instantly hooked. Leon and I don't have cable and we honestly can't stand the fact that Downton leaves us hanging after every episode so it's kinda tradition that hubby and I wait until every season comes out on dvd and buy it along with goodies, hot chocolate, and s'mores and we sit over at our fire place and enjoy life until someone on the episode dies here in the life of Downton Abbey..

I was the one who brought Downton in the picture when I heard all of these bloggers  talking about it! Downton this and Downton that and "Downton is the best show ever!"  So I had to check it out!

Thankfully my Aunt had the  first two seasons so I got to borrow them from her. I was still so early in my pregnancy with Evelynne and still struggling with morning sickness that all I did for the past few weeks was nibbling on the things I could eat, throwing up the things I couldn't and watching Downton Abbey while listening to the hubby smurf about how a real man never watches Downton Abbey because it's so feminine..

So what happens after one night of me falling asleep to Downton in our bedroom.. I wake up in the middle of the night just to see hubby with Cheez-its, popcorn, soda and all the other goodies watching Downton Abbey.. Episode after Episode. He made it all the way up to episodes I haven't  even seen yet!

"Baby, baby go back to sleep it's not what it looks like!!" **chuckles

"Hmmm.. Hubby you better hand over your man card! Now pass the cheez-its. haha"

So, that's when it happened.. That was the night when hubby went from a Downton hater to lover.. I even caught him shedding a tear or two when some of our favorite characters died.. He says it's just me but I'm sticking with what I know I saw.

                                                   The End
Don't forget to link up with us for The very random link up #2. We're vlogging about three things you are believing for in 2014!!