Monday, February 16, 2015

50 Shades of Grey and why I believe it is a inappropriate reading material for anyone.

Fifty Shades of Greythe book has sold one copy every second, hitting the New York Times Bestseller List and selling  millions of copies so far with no signs of slowing down...

When it came out a few years ago I honestly  had no interest in it. My assumptions for it was that it was just another Twilight fantasy book that's boring and   in my opinion corny.

However, it did come to my eye that it was extremely popular. I'd have to say 95% out of my facebook feed for weeks was Fifty shades of grey and how amazing and romantic it was.

So I got a little interested and looked it up to find out what was so amazing and romantic about this Christian Grey.

My friends, terrifying,disturbing,abusive,confused yes. Romantic?  Heck no!

The story's plot centers on a 21 year old college girl who is a  virgin and is seduced by a handsome 27 year old millionaire (who by the way, is described in the novel as an abused victim and sex addict) who persuades her to sign a contract that allows him complete control over every aspect of her life - dictating when she can sleep, eat (and what she can and cannot eat), groom herself,  work out and taking complete dominance over her sexually as he systematically abuses her throughout the story. Much of the "50 Shades" trilogy includes very graphic sex scenes involving BDSM- "bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism."

 I thought the story line was just disgusting  and I'd never read it or recommend it and I left it at that.

Now fast forward to last Saturday (Valentines day) I'm 23. I'm now married to a man who knows what love and romance is and I'm the mother of two beautiful daughters.

I'm sitting on Facebook and once again 50 Shades blows up my feed.

"The movie 50 Shades of Grey hits theaters today. Be the first to see it!"

Goodness! they actually made it a movie? 
And out of complete curiosity I looked up a preview and it made my heart sink. I felt sick and as a young woman myself I felt completely humiliated and disrespected and apparently I'm not the only one who finds this movie/book disturbing, gross and harmful but even the co-stars of the movie think 50 Shades of Grey is awful.

They both stated that they had a very rough time filming this movie. Jamie Dornan (The actor of Christian) stated in a interview that after he got off set he had to take a long shower before he could even touch his wife or daughter. 

And Dakota Johnson mentioned to Glamour  admitting that while shooting the sex scenes,

 “there were some painful moments.” “I got whiplash once from him throwing me on the bed; so f--king painful.” And just in case you thought that maybe there was something sexy about shooting a sex scene. Nope. Definitely not. "It's just sweaty and it's not very comfortable. And on top of that, my hands and legs were tied, and I was blindfolded, and I was being hit with this bizarre tool. ... It was emotionally taxing. At first I was like, 'Oh my God, this is the worst thing ever,' and then I was like, 'All right, let's get on with it.'"
But no worries. “The drive home from work always helped me snap out of it. And a big glass of wine.”

Jamie also mentioned that he would never touch or treat a woman like he had to on set playing Christian.

"For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished.
 It is a devastating fire that destroys to hell. It would wipe out everything I own."
-Job 31:11-12

Truth is,  this story sounds more like a nightmare than a romance. As so many have claimed it was. And yes, some would say that it's all about having an open mind and experiencing it together. But having an open mind about what? an open mind about embracing the fact that my husband/boyfriend wants a night to see me as a sex slave and abuse me to his satisfaction.. HECK NO. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing shared between a man and a woman that embrace their love for each other. Now I'm not saying you can't have a little fun.. Lord knows I'm all about fun with handcuffs ;) But it's not supposed to cause harm,confusion, or uncomfortableness and certainly aggressive domination. That's not love at all. It's rape and assault whether the woman sees herself as victim or not. 

And even scarier then the book itself is the fact that women bite into this lie, this story. believing that this is romantic and how they day dream while reading it pretending to be this girl in their minds. 

And God forbid that men see all these women loving into Grey's lifestyle and thinking that's what we want in men. It's clear and obvious to me that many women are lacking true love if they are under the assumptions that Grey's got what women crave.

 As  a smart, healthy woman who is in a healthy, fun marriage.... I do not see 50 shades as harmless.I do not see it as  cute not even  "kinky." and certainly anything but romantic. It's not just "entertainment". And it is not okay. And  I believe experts, psychologists,doctors  and the Bible would agree. It is very disturbing, very unnatural, and extremely disrespectful to women. (if I didn't make that point clear earlier.)

I think I am even more passionate about this now that I'm a mom. A mom of girls for that matter, but you know what moms of boys should be just as careful. 

Moms we need to teach are sons to treat women with true love. The kind of love that 1 Corinthians 13:4 demonstrates.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

We need to teach them to see women as valuable, honorable and not a piece of meat. We need to teach them to be protective over their women in a loving matter and not a jealous one and we need to teach them to encourage women to be confident in themselves and who they are in Christ and not their boyfriends/husbands. 

Moms of daughters. We need to teach our girls what love really is! We need to teach them that men who aggressively  dominate are not strong, they're not romantic, they're not love and they're certainly not men. I don't even have the heart to call them boys. They are dogs. dogs that are wimps that don't deserve the value that our daughters carry.

We need to teach them to know their identity and confidence in Christ and to stay clear from all that is unholy and not pure. 

We need to raise our children and treat our loved ones with love.

Friends, I'm not writing this post to be one of the million people that want to speak their opinion. I'm one hundred percent writing this post out of love. Hoping that if you didn't see fifty shades of grey in it's "true" light before that you do now.

"Do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure."
-1 Timothy 5:22 

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
-Ephesians 5:3

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality;
that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
not in passionate lust like those who do not know God...
The Lord will punish people for all such sins, as we have already told and warned you.
For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."
-1 Thessalonians 4:3-7



  1. So true so well written. Having lived with someone in my very young years I can very much identity with young girls but deep inside I believe its what God created us to be we want to feel wanted loved and cared for.

    1. Thanks so much for commenting hot mama!! I couldn't agree more. We are created to love and be loved. <3

  2. Thanks for your post, stopping by from Mommy Moments and I enjoyed the read and your opinion.

    I haven't seen or watched 50 Shades of Gray and actually didn't even know the plot of it before reading this post - I just heard the book being called "Mommy Porn" when it first came out and that was enough to make sure I never had any further interest in it!

    1. I know right? I'm just trying to speak out and hopefully encourage all people that 50 shades is not worth the read. We should be filling our minds with the pureness of heart.

      Thanks so much for sharing your heart and stopping by friend. :)

  3. I had heard about 50 shades of grey and saw the tv trailers, but still did not know what it was about. Thanks for the info. The seduction and control sounds somewhat alarming.

    1. It really is!! Thanks so much for sharing your heart, friend. :)

  4. Excellent thoughts. I picked up the first one out of curiosity and was horrified by what I read. A lot of people define it as "Mommy Porn", but I seriously don't see it as that either. There's nothing active about a man abusing a woman. Period. The fact that it was poorly written, terrible characters/plot, and that it got its start as Twilight Fan Fiction says all we really need to know.

  5. I agree with you and the other comments! I find the story line to be completely disturbing. I think I would accept it more if both characters were always interested in that kind of relationship and if they came from a healthy background. The fact that Christian is emotionally unstable and really persuades her into the situation makes this a story of abuse, not romance. It also perpetuates the thought that women can save an emotionally unstable man, which leads to domestic abuse and murder. The fact that some are touting that it's "just a book" or "just a movie" is disrespectful, as some women actually live a life like the one depicted and some women actually die form that lifestyle. Thanks for sharing!


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