Speaking of baby #2 I just want to thank all of you for the sweet comments and precious emails about our sweet precious new baby! Ya'll are gems. And sooooo sorry I have been the worst blog friend ever!! I'll make it up to you with some cute sonogram pics in the near future!!
So we're talking about dealing with people sharing their opinions and how to lovingly handle it.
I often felt like because I became a mama at the young age of twenty that people felt like they had a responsibility to
It even got to the point where I was nervous to even be myself as a mom in front of people because I was afraid that I would get a 20 minute session of "what not to do" because I didn't do what the other mom thought was best for my child. I used to get so extremely angry inside but mostly insecure.
People used to tell me I was holding Evie way to much, or that nursing is causing her to be way to attached to me. I also got the "Well, when my baby was that age" sermon. I am a firm believer that you do not give a mama your opinion unless it's asked.. Unless it's a really serious thing of course!! Otherwise if you think a mama is holding her baby too much. What's that to you? I think she has rights to hold her baby as long as she wants. :)
Learning to handle opinions in a loving manner was something Jesus really had to work with me on. I had to put my feeling and sensitivity aside and the best way for me to handle opinions lovingly is to assume that they are doing it out of love.. Maybe they really do love you and they just want to help you out or maybe they just think you're clueless and you need their Mama smarts.. Either way seeing things from that perspective makes it easier to not come up with snappy comebacks or secretly picturing yourself punching that person in the face.
Now, when people give me their opinions I'll receive it the best I can. However if I think their advice wouldn't work on my child I say "Yea, I don't think that will work for us. Thanks though!" Some women may still get offended by that but hey, I'm not gonna do something pointless for my kid just to make someone else feel good.
How do you deal with opinions?
May 8: Taming the Temper Tantrums
May 15: Weaning from Breastfeeding or From Formula to Cow’s Milk
May 22: Dealing with Mommy Guilt
May 29: When People Share Their Opinions and How to Lovingly Handle it
June 5: Traveling with your Toddler
June 12: How to get your toddler to eat their veggies…or their food at all
June 19: How to make time to blog in the busyness of motherhood
June 26: Bedtime Battles (nap or bedtime)
I take them with a grain of salt. There are some times that it really really really bothers me. Like the time a random stranger yelled at me across the parking lot that I should have a hat on my son. I couldn't help but yell back that my DAUGHTER wouldn't leave it on, but thanks for the unwanted advice!! lol.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean when you say you felt like you were nervous to be yourself around others for fear of what they would tell you you are doing wrong or something. But, when it boils down to it, you know your baby best and love her the most. You are doing a great job! Though it is hard to sometimes hear people give you advice you really don't want to hear.
ReplyDeleteAnd yay for baby #2! I can't believe I didn't realize until now. That is so exciting! Hopefully your energy returns to you soon!
I know what you mean when you say you felt like you were nervous to be yourself around others for fear of what they would tell you you are doing wrong or something. But, when it boils down to it, you know your baby best and love her the most. You are doing a great job! Though it is hard to sometimes hear people give you advice you really don't want to hear.
ReplyDeleteAnd yay for baby #2! I can't believe I didn't realize until now. That is so exciting! Hopefully your energy returns to you soon!
YES! Just yes to all of this. I felt this same way when I had my first. I was 22 but people really thought I looked 17 so they would come up to me everywhere and tell me "they know its hard to be a young mom". Wait what? Now three kids deep and I still get the crazy in the Target line giving me a 8 minute lecture on having kids so close together. Lets just keep it moving folks :)
ReplyDeleteYes!! So agree! People just like to give you advice even if you don't ask. I remember one time I was in Target when my son was a newborn and I was buying something and he started crying. I had everything under control but some random lady walked up and put his pacifier back in his mouth to "help me". I was horrified she was touching my baby! And then she said "it looked like you needed help". Thanks lady. But I would have asked if I needed help.
ReplyDeleteI really try to do my very best to not offer my opinion unless I'm specifically asked because most of the time it really does come across as hurtful when someone tells you their way is best. But you are an amazing mom and trusting your instincts is the best thing you can do for you and E!!
ReplyDeleteFabulous party! Thanks for hosting. Please come and party with us tomorrow at 7 pm. We would love to have you. http://loulougirls.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday! Lou Lou Girls