It was the other night when I was laying in bed debating if I even wanted to fall asleep knowing my sweet Liya would be up any second now wanting her feeding and millionth diaper change of the day.
I was thinking about the year of 2014 and how it went by fast. I was reflecting on it which got me thinking about the year of 2015.
I don't do New years resolutions. I'm a huge fan of "today" resolutions however, I do have a word for every year and my word for this year I feel like I need to explain it every time I say it.
As I was laying there I happened to ask God what my word for 2015 was?
I honestly was expecting a awesome word that everyone else seemed to be getting like "Fearlessness" or something but what The Lord had said caught me by surprise.
"Your word for this year Heather is "Weakness".
Saay what? Weakness? But I hate weakness, I hate being weak, I hate feeling like I'm weak and I hate it when people think I'm weak or I assume people think I'm weak.
Obviously, I wasn't satisfied with my word at first and demanded something else. But God clearly opened my eyes and heart to this word "Weakness" as He brought me to this scripture
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9
This year in 2014 I hated the word "weakness" because I hated the thought of me being labeled as weak however, God sees our definition of weakness differently then we do. When we think of our weaknesses we think of hopelessness but I believe when God looks at our weaknesses He sees His Son and He sees an opportunity to move mountains in our lives.
This year in 2014 I believe I focused too much on my weaknesses as a negative thing. I stepped down many times, backed off and sat there because I didn't find myself worthy, or enough. I clearly dealt with some identity crisis in the year of 2014 and listened to the wrong crowed a.k.a stupid devil!
And because of that I can't help but wonder if I missed out? On miracle opportunities. Just because I thought I wasn't good enough or skilled enough to pray over a certain individual. Boy was I fooled.
Until now, I've always thought I was horrible at praying.. Sounds silly? I know! I thought my prayers were ineffective and pointless because I never felt Jesus while praying or The power of the Holy Spirit. I thought they were powerless. So instead of actually praying for people in the ministry team I stood back and just hugged and loved on the people while they were being prayed over by all of the amazing prayer warriors.
I feel the winds of change moving closer towards me. And they're bringing me off my feet. This year of 2015 my word is "Weakness" This year I will be focusing on my weaknesses and realizing that is where He is strong! So therefore they're not my weaknesses but they're opportunities for Jesus to use His perfect power in me. YAY!
Do you have a word or new years resolutions for 2015? I'd love to hear them and get inspired. :)