Pregnant with waiting for God's best.

 

My daughter is two months old now.. However I've had this post on my heart for a while now because ever since I experienced my last pregnancy with Liya I've had such a heart for pregnant moms. Especially with kids already.. 

When that clear blue pregnancy test confirmed "Pregnant" and the five ones after that made it official. I was so excited. Words couldn't even express. I was laughing, crying, daydreaming and I couldn't wait to actually show my  baby bump!

I'd sit around thinking about how small the baby is right now. I thought about how tiny her fingers and toes were. And then about a week later I remembered what pregnancy actually felt like.

I did.. I forgot what pregnancy felt like... Either that or my pregnancy with Evelynne was a walk in the park compared to my pregnancy with Liya. But considering I lost over thirty pounds puking my everything out with Evelynne.. I somehow doubt that. 

About a week after I found out I was pregnant I already started feeling tired and so sick. I wanted to know who on earth decided that eggs could be food and what were they thinking?! 

I found myself hugging the toilet several times a day. Not  washing my hair for five days and sleeping in the same clothes as long as I could because I didn't even have the energy to change or wash clothes for that matter.

Then you hit the second trimester.. You're still super tired however food went from being your worst enemy to your best friend.. And then you find yourself wanting Chick fil a, Five guys and Mexican food all in one sitting. And other then having to pee every five minutes things are going great. 

And finally the third Trimester. You're huge and you feel like a whale. At least I did. And you want to sleep all the time and you just want to be done.You're tired, wobbly, swollen, achy and that pregnancy tired brain is worse than a lack of sleep brain.

And then you finally know why you went through with pregnancy.

It is amazing how 7 pounds and 12 ounces can change your life. And how seeing that cute little beauty and holding her for the first time makes all those times of sleepless nights, uncomfortably, and all those times you couldn't even keep a cracker down worth it.

Experiencing this pregnancy while going through a season of waiting for the life and purpose God has put our family on this earth for  has helped me see pregnancy in a new light and could even relate it together.

Carrying a baby is a lot like carrying a purpose . . .It's like holding a dream. A calling and waiting for it to come to pass.

 It’s not  easy. It's painful and sometimes it makes us feel really sick to our stomachs. 

At times the load feels too heavy to carry and sometimes we can’t even see where we are going anymore thanks to the fact that we no longer can  see our feet and honestly, my sense of direction is so horrible when I'm pregnant.

However, It's during that time when we think to ourselves that we just can't make it. When the enemy tries to feed us lies telling us "All this hard work is for nothing"  And "All this will end out badly with disappointment and broken hearts" And it's when we think that we can  no longer do this, that we realize we can.

We live to fight another day, another month and months after that. God guides the way. Giving us His rest, His comfort and His strength. Our days turn into weeks.. Weeks turn into months... and before you know it our purpose grows and our labor produces harvest.

And finally we're holding that blessing. That promise. And we're finding that it was all very worth it!

I know quite a bit of you are pregnant now. And maybe some of you are carrying a burden, or waiting for the promise and the calling God has placed upon your life like my husband and I are. 

We are in the process of being released to be in full time Ministry. Yep, that means we'll be saying goodbye to the cop life and doing Ministry together as a family. We've been waiting for a while now however, I feel it in my heart that we're getting closer and closer to that time when God says "Now" and provides. 

It certainly is a pain waiting isn't? We just want it handed to us. And it feels like the pain is going to last forever. But this shall pass. Because that's what God promises.

It's not going to be easy. When you're running for the great stuff the process getting there is never a walk in the park. But it takes hard work and sometimes the hardest thing to do is wait. 

You're going to have days when you're done and you don't want to go any further and you just want to give up and stay in bed.. But you can't. You gotta fight for that blessing. You can do this because God has given you what it takes to do so. He has given you Himself and All He is.

So on days when you don't feel like you can take the pain of pregnancy/life/waiting practice confidence. Practice boldness and hold out your arms. They might feel empty today but later in God's perfect timing the seed you have sown today in your hard labor will bare much fruit and God's gonna hand you the blessing and babe, It's gonna rock your universe!

“Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning!”

Psalm 30:5

Our Monthly fun day. (A new family tradition)

I'm a mama who loves family traditions. It's something I wanted my own family to have and dreamed of having. Due to Leon's non family oriented cop life where we only get to see him twice a week it has made it very difficult to start them and traditions just aren't as fun unless the whole family is involved. 

Thankfully his life as a cop will be closing to a end shortly (Can I get a amen?) We have a burning family passion  to be in  ministry full time  and we will do what it takes to live a life fully after His heart and live our life together serving others. I'll have more on that in the future. 

Because of this Leon is taking a majority of vacation early as possible. It's been so nice having him home. Evelynne has loved it and I love it. So with this time off we've decided to get some tradition in here.

We're calling it "Our Monthly fun day tradition" where we will take the girls out once a month and do something super fun!! They won't know what's coming or what we're doing until last minute. Leon and I are a huge fan of surprises. 

This was our first month. We started out by going to Target and letting Evelynne pick out a stuffed animal for her and one for Liya bear. She was a big fan of a brown pup and thought Liya should have the pink one. 

Afterwards we took our hungry family to Chick-fil-a and headed home! We were going to take her to build a bear however, reality hit when the thought came of us going to build a bear with a nb who loves to eat every thirty minutes to an hour (not kidding!) So we're gonna save that for when they're older. 

A great start to new traditions! Do you have any fun family traditions?

Liya Evangeline's Birth story. pt 1

 

It was December 20th when I was almost one week over due. Leon and I were headed to the Hospital to get some gel to soften up my cervix to hopefully get things started however, I thought I still had a few days until things happened considering I was dilated at all yet and the gel didn't work at all with Evelynne.  I really didn't expect to meet my daughter until that Monday since that was the day we were going to have an induction if the gel didn't work.

I left the hospital feel a little crampy thinking it was just a side effect from the gel. I was really uncomfortable but I kinda just brushed it off my shoulder, laid in bed and watched TV with my husband and quickly fell asleep.

It was around 12-12:30 when I woke up feeling quite painful contractions so I went into the bathroom to take a warm shower to see if it would help. I was not ready to give birth yet. I didn't even have my hospital bag packed all the way *facepalm! Way to be prepared I know!

Right when I got to the bathroom my water broke! I went into the bedroom, woke up Leon and told him "I think I'm in labor!!" Right as I said that even more fluids gushed out.

Right after I called my midwife telling her what happened and she honestly didn't think I was in labor just yet due to the fact by how quiet and calm I sounded on the phone (Note to self:  next time I'm in labor, make a huge screaming deal!) She said it was probably my mucus plug (gross!) and told me to take a warm bath to see if they go down and in a hour call her if they progress.

So that's what I did. I went into the bathroom and bathed in some warm water for about five minutes until I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was nearly screaming and the only thing that kept me from doing so was my sweet toddler in the next room sleeping peacefully. I'd hate to have her wake up to her mom screaming in the bathroom. However, she did wake up but Leon was able to lay her back down. Over all she was made at us for waking her up and not terrified a bit thank you Jesus!

It was about 15 minutes when I decided to call my midwife again and tell her "I'm totally in labor and I need to come in now!"

She then told me to come in.

That night was the first and most likely only night I can say that I appreciate Leon police driving speeding skills. He certainly knows how to beep his horn and drive 80 to 90 down the highway in a professional manner. And boy he was totally calm under pressure! I mean, it takes an amazing person to be able to drive that fast calmly with a screaming wife in the passenger seat.

AND THEN WE GET PULLED OVER BY A COP!!!

Yep, you heard that right! Can you believe it?

Leon pulls over and me sitting in my own little world asked him

 "Why in the world did you stop?" 

"Baby, I got pulled over but don't worry I'll make it super fast!"

As he jumps out of the car (you should never do that!!) And puts his arms up and says "Don't shoot! I'm a cop, I'm a cop, I'm a cop!!"

Then the Officer says in a totally confused manner "Okay, I hear you! What in the world are you doing?!"

"My wife's in labor!"

"Okay, go!"

And our 90 miles an hour continued.
Come back on Monday to read part two!

Click here to read part two

Three Years.

 

These are two of my favorite wedding pictures because they describe our relationship perfectly!

We're so playful towards each other yet, sensitive and and loving too! 

He's my bestest friend and we were married three years on December 23rd.

Leon and I have had a very productive three years of marriage. Married for three years and created two little humans that we couldn't love more! We celebrated our three years by taking our little loves to Starbucks drive through and sharing a cookie with our daughter and hurrying home considering Liya eats every 15 minutes. 

We obviously couldn't do much more then that considering I gave birth a few days prior.. Man November and December is a busy year for us.  

But it was so wonderful and memorable! We were even blessed by the person in front of us in the drive through who paid for our drinks and cookie! 

They didn't know who we were.

They didn't know it was our anniversary.

They didn't know we were sleep deprived and had a three day old infant crying in the back seat.

But I do know this person was a God send! 

So we had the opportunity to  bless the person behind us.

Such a amazing way to celebrate our three years.

Happy (late) Three years my love!! May we forever live life as Newlyweds. :D

Our Christmas.

 

I hope you all had such a wonderful Christmas. Mine was absolutely perfect.

We didn't go anywhere and the main reason for that is because I just had a baby and shouldn't be going here and there however, I loved just sitting around the house watching my toddler enjoy her new gifts and running around the house with a sugar overload wearing her Christmas Jammies.

I loved snuggling with my newest Christmas gift Liya and watching Evelynne develop a deeper relationship with her.

Watching "The King is born" with my little loves remembering the memories of me watching it as a child.

I loved sitting on the couch with my husband who can finally put his big, handsome, strong arms around me for the first time in months and watching movies with our sister Ashley.

And falling deeper and deeper in love with Leon as he runs around the house being a silly daddy with Evelynne and enjoying the sweet snuggles of our precious Liya.

I haven't wrote any Christmas posts this season. It was just a crazy month of preparing and waiting and not being prepared enough. However, I feel as though there is something very special being pregnant this time of year as we celebrate the birth of our Jesus.

I thought of Mary a lot this month. An ordinary girl who was called to do the most extraordinary thing EVER!

She was pregnant with Jesus Christ our Savior for nine Months and raised Him as a Son.

Such an awesome yet, terrifying task.

A virgin.

A young unmarried woman who is engaged.

pregnant with The Son of God who came to save us all.

She could have freaked.

She could have refused.

But instead she responded

"Behold the maidservent of The Lord!

 Let it be to me according to your word."

Wow! Imagine what God has planned for you? His Daughter. He loves you just as much as He loves Mary and He has Extra ordinary plans for you as well!

Maybe He's just waiting for you to say what Mary said?

"Behold the maidservent of The Lord!

 Let it be to me according to your word."

This year as we enter the year of 2015 lets choose His extraordinary plans for our lives instead of choosing worldy comfort that only lasts for a short second. 

Lets choose to dream big.

To live Extraordinary.

And to always say "Yes" to God instead of "Not me, Lord" or "Maybe next time."

Lets have coffee.

It really has been a while since I've just poured my heart out on here.. It's been pretty chilly in December so what better place to go then out for coffee??

If we were having some Starbucks coffee together, I'd order a grande (maybe venti?) white peppermint Mocha and one of those cute little snowman cookies! Those little delights look almost too pretty to eat but they're way to delicious to resist.

I would ask how your weekend went? And if you've finished your Christmas shopping?

I would encourage you not to stress about getting everything done and making sure everything looks perfect. I would encourage you not to stress out about financial things and just do what you can.

I would tell you that even if Leon and I did have the money to go completely overboard with Evelynne for Christmas as in spending hundreds of dollars on her alone I honestly don't think we would. Leon and I have agreed to buy all of our children one thing they want, one thing they need, something to wear and something to read. I have such a desire to teach Evelynne to serve so I really want to focus on serving with her this Christmas season and every day for that matter. Even if it's just handing cookies to our neighbors.

I would tell you that I'm so excited for this new chapter in life we're in! Our season of being a family of three is coming to an end and shortly (just a couple weeks) we'll be a family of four! I feel so ready and yet, so not ready. I feel like I was much more prepared with Evelynne in fact, I had my hospital bag packed two months before Evelynne's due date and I have yet to still pack my hospital back and I'm due in two weeks... But hey, I did pack the diaper back and our house is officially baby ready! Evelynne loves putting her baby in the baby swing. I'm so excited to see her in Big sister action.

I would tell you that yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life as I got to witness my amazing husband Leon become a licensed Pastor.  I always knew I'd be a Pastors Wifey and It's been prophesied over him since he was a child. Soon he'll be able to be a Pastor at the Church full time and I will gladly kiss the police badge goodbye! I'm ready to minister as a family and speaking life into peoples lives. We're ready to pick up our crosses and follow Him whose love is captivating. I'm so excited that we'll be able to be a real family soon and Evelynne and Liya will be able to spend time with there daddy more that twenty four hours a week if that. 


I would tell you that this coming year I finally want to start my "Little Beloved" Business. I'll be starting out small and work my way up and it's so exciting. I'll be crocheting kid scarves and as the business gets bigger I'll probably add more merchandise. And to make it even more exciting I plan on using some of the money to start a ministry of blessing young moms/parents. Such as surprising an exhausted new mom with a Starbucks gift card, new parents with take out gift cards, and just randomly dropping diapers off their house. I'd also love to start a mommy group. 2015 is a good year to start! I would say now but we only have a few more weeks to go of 2014 *gasp! And honestly, these days have not been super productive.

If I were having coffee with you I would tell you that I've felt so dry lately.. Like I'm in a desert dry land. I've felt this way on and off through out my whole pregnancy and I've often wondered why? I know it's an attack of the devil however, I'm believing that it's going to cause me to have a new and even stronger hunger for Christ that will light a flame brighter than I have ever carried.. There's been a lot of worship music playing at my house because I refuse to go by the way I feel and it's much easier to stay in the presence when worship is on. I know this is only for a season and I'll come out so much stronger.

This is what I would tell you if I were having coffee with you. What would you tell me?

This Marriage thing..It's worth it!

I post pictures of date nights with my husband, but it doesn't mean we're all smiles all the time.

Almost three years into Marriage and we're still finding out new things about each other and still trying to figure out how to live with one another.

My husband.. I love him! Words couldn't even describe. But not because I'm fallen over heels in the clouds for him 24/7.. Because I'm not. I love him because I choose to. Sometimes I feel love towards him, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes we don't even like each other...

Sometimes we really like each other.. A LOT!

But one thing that really keeps us both going and choosing to love each other is love itself.. Because love has the power to break and erase all faults that we see in each other.

And it's not the kind of love that Hollywood demonstrates where love is all about passion and hot sex.. that I personally find myself gagging at.

Or  fantasies that many women (including myself) have always thought their marriage would be like..

 Truth is, Marriage.. It's not about loving a perfect person who fulfills your every desire and leaving you up in the clouds 24/7.

It's a ministry where two imperfect people come together and choose to love one another for The Glory of God. And boy God can do amazing things with a Married couple after His own heart!

 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Mathew 18:20.

In these almost three years I've learned many things about Marriage and what love really is.. And if I were to share some advice with a newly wedded woman or even a single woman today I'd tell her that this Marriage thing, it isn't always easy..  But man is it worth it!

It's worth it to choose love and sacrifice then to just give up when things aren't going your way.

Because even though Marriage is about selflessness it comes back and benefits you more then you could ever imagine.. Because God is the Author of love and He certainly knows how to write a love story.

Leon and I have had countless amount of arguments in the past. One even lasted for two days *facepalm. Haha and I don't even remember what it was about!

However, Those nights are easily  forgotten about when we're loving on each other while going on a coffee date, or watching late night movies, or even family walks with our sweet daughter.

 Leon and I have so many of  "Our songs" some are from Taylor Swift, Elton John, and Elvis.. Those are songs that remind us of each other and gives us goose bumps for each other. And though we've considered using those songs for our wedding. The ones that tell our story, about our cute love story and obsession with each other we decided to take another direction and chose a song that is "Our song" above all others.

Leon and I came across this song on youtube one day and immediately started dancing to it. It is the only love song that brings tears to both of our eyes and remembering what love really is. It's selfless, patient, kind and most importantly it never fails! It's the strongest and greatest  weapon that God gave us.. 

And in our Marriage, Love is something Leon and I have chosen to do.. Not because we're perfect and it's certainly not easy all the time... But it's worth it and even better love never fails!

They say "I'm missing out."

I'm twenty three years old.. I've been married for almost three years. I have one beautiful little girl and I have another one on the way coming December.

My Instagram is entirely full of my little person and husband.

And my bedtime is no later then 9:30 and 10:00 at the latest if I'm trying to catch up on something.

My definition of fun is family trips to the farm or park.

And the greatest pieces of art I carry are scribblings from a almost two year old and thoughtful words from a Beloved.

So what blows my mind really is when someone tells me or mentions that women like me. Who marry young and start a family are "missing out."

Missing out on opportunities, college, having a life, being successful, traveling the world, Having fun, partying, getting a great career and making a substantial amount of money.

But you know what? Maybe I never wanted to go to college?

Maybe I wanted a family to travel the world with?

Maybe my definition of fun is spending time with a family I call my own.

Maybe my definition of partying is having a tea party with a very special girl.

And just maybe my goal in life isn't to make a substantial amount of money but instead to seek first The Kingdom of God and let Him apply everything else in my life.

Did they ever think about that?

I have no need or desire to cross off every country as places I lived or visited before I turn thirty. Even though that would be pretty cool.

I have no desire for a huge house, nice car and everything a great career offers. I don't need that.

Because my number one goal in life is to serve, minister and to bring joy to others.

To lay down my life as a living sacrifice and serve the One who gladly laid down His life for me.

A girl who was helpless.

And for me, what better way to do that then to marry a man and raise little humans.

To be in a place where my life is never about me and my will is never mine but instead it's over there changing diapers and continuing to choose joy in stressful situations.

To live with a man that doesn't fill my every need and isn't meant to however,  I serve him with everything I am anyways.

My life.. It's hard, stressful but Oh so worth it! Because even though my life isn't about me Jesus never fails to favor me and pour blessings over me.

Because when we're all about Jesus and when we do things for His glory and not our own. He really makes it about us.

If anyone were to ask  me why I married so young and quickly became a mom. My answer would certainly be this:

"Being a wife and mom has not only been my life dream, it's also my calling in life. A calling to be needed, to minister, to teach, to serve, to raise and to choose others before myself."

 And in this place of giving there is really nothing more fulfilling here on earth then to be a mom. I never wanted to live life for me first because I have found in this life journey that a life is more beautiful when you give it away.

I'm not missing out, but instead I have gained so much more then living any other life in this world.


 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. 
-Proverbs 31:28

The one year & Beyond Link up is back!

 EEEK! I'm so excited to be apart of this once again with some amazing mamas! And I'm so beyond excited about our topics. Especially the one for this week  

"Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler"

I think this may be one topic and blog post that we can all take from each other because you can never have too much wisdom on keeping your marriage alive and fresh. Especially after kids.

Here are some ways my husband and I work daily on keeping our marriage alive.

We pray together and for each other// I'd have to say that this is the most effective one for us. I've realized that when I'm praying for/with my husband it's so much easier to feel connected to him not just spiritually but physically too! I don't know about you but I find my husband super attractive  when he prays!

Make some love faces// Sex. Seriously, I feel like topics on sex should be spoken about so much more often on Christian blogs.. Not that I'm a creeper or anything however, So many do not see sex as a gift from God to Married couples and we should be very excited to talk about it. Keeping sex alive after the kids are born can be difficult at times especially when you're a new parent and as they get older they get more busy and so do you. Leon and I try to take one day a week to spice up our sex life. It not only brings us closer, more in love but it's also a huge stress reliever!

Keep dating// I really believe that dating each other is more important now then ever because when you're a parent you can easily get so wrapped up in your kids that you eventually lose interest in not only yourself but your spouse as well. I deeply encourage dating and make it fun and different. Remind each other of why and how you fell in love in the first place. Ask each other fun questions and serious ones. And if there's no way of getting out have a date night after the kids go to bed.

I was a Wife before I was a Mama// This is probably my hardest one. When my days are all about Evelynne and her needs it's hard to remember sometimes that I was Leon's wife before I was Evelynne's mama. And He should always come first to me.  Remembering to write him love letters, make his lunch before work, to kiss him before he leaves and when he comes home and just being there for him and to love on him when he needs me to speaks more volumes to him more then I probably even know because it shows him that he's still first. 

One Year and Beyond is back!!  We just couldn't stay away from this awesome toddler series.  We've gotten so much positive response so far.  Motherhood can be difficult especially with a toddler at home.  So we're here to talk toddler issues, mom to mom.  We've got a great group of mamas who are offering their advice on getting through those challenging times with their child.  Be sure to check out their blogs and then link up your own post on the topic with us below!

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up