Keeping God first in your Marriage. Featuring: Charlene Maugeri

 I'm gonna start this post out honestly by saying that Leon and I have not always been the perfect example of putting God first in the business of our lives. I still don't think that now. However, we've gotten better!

 He's a full time cop and I'm a full time mom. He works at night and I'm with the kiddos during the day. When he's awake I'm sleeping and when I'm awake he's sleeping.

Get my point? We rarely see each other most days and we've used our busyness as an excuse to not read the bible together or pray together. And in doing that two years ago ended out with a very bad taste in our mouths. We had little intimacy, we argued almost every day and with him being a cop he was letting the influence of swearing and getting angry easily  take over him which led to.. well, more arguing.

However, things changed last October when he had a 20 day vacation. We both just changed and desire even more of God. In one night Leon's anger left him and he were love birds all over again. Now our goal and passion is to put God first in our lives. Ahead of our busyness, of our children and each other. We desire to be overwhelmed by Him and not overwhelmed by the busyness of our days.

We read devotionals when we're together and when He's working I'll send him a sermon I've been listening too or a verse I loved that day.  I wish I could say that we spend hours together every day in prayer but it's just not that way yet and hopefully once his full time Pastor lifestyle comes through we'll be able to do that. I deeply admire spouses who can!

So, here are some ways Leon and I keep God first in our marriage and communicate Jesus to each other.

1. We pray together.. Not everyday (like we should) but we do as often as we can. However, when we're not praying together, we're praying for each other. which is just as good in my opinion. Man there's  power in prayer!

2. We read the bible and devotionals when He's off of work. On days He's not working we'll read a devotional together before we go to bed. We love reading Devotionals by Bill Johnson, Joseph Prince and just anything that brings us in the Awesomeness  of God's love and power.

We'll also listen to sermons together.. We love Todd White! Also Bill Johnson and a lot of Marriage wisdom sermons.

3. We pray with our children. Now this is something him and I do before we put Evelynne (our daughter) to bed. We give her a kiss, read her a story and we pray together. It's my favorite looking around the room with all of our hands held together and talking to Jesus as a family.

4. I write Leon love notes with scripture telling him how much I love him and how proud I am of him with a scripture to brighten his day. Writing is my language and that's a form of communication that I have always shown him.

5. And when he's not working on Sundays we ALWAYS make it a priority to be at church.. It doesn't matter how many times My 3 month old Liya girl has kept me up. :)


 Take it away Charlene. :)

You know what? Pearson and I are very busy. Especially Pearson. Did you know that getting a PhD is hard and time consuming? Shocker, right? But in all seriousness, Pearson really isn't home a lot. Most nights he gets home at 9 or later and he works Saturdays too. And while I may not work so much for my job, I also take care of a dog, do housework, write a blog, and am very involved with church by teaching children's classes, hosting showers and all sorts of other things.

But you know what? There is always someone out their busier. I mean, we don't even have kids yet. I can remember how busy I was as a kid going from piano lessons to ballet then straight to softball practice all in one day. And my mom had to take me all those places and figure out how to get my brother where he needed to be also.

Life is busy. That word is thrown around all the time. And I think The Devil tries to use our business to keep us out of Gods word and stop us from talking to our Creator. I think Satan tries to trick us into thinking we don't have time for God today and makes us forget our priorities. And a lot of times, he succeeds.

So here are some ideas to help you keep God first in your busy marriage.

1. Pray with your spouse. I don't care how late it is, how tired you are or any of those excuses, pray together before you go to sleep. Pray about things that happened that day, hopes you have for the next day, your future together and anything else you need to bring to God. Make it a habit. Pray together before every meal. Pray together at other special times. Just always be in prayer together.
2. Pray for your spouse. I tell you, there is not much else you can do to feel closer to your spouse than to lift him or her up in prayer. Ask him how you can pray for him. Pray constantly for his safety, his confidence at work, any problems or doubts he's having that he told you about, and his spirituality. 
3. Study the Bible together. We definitely don't do this as often as we should but we try to read a short devotional together before bed every night. It's very important to constantly study and grow your own faith through scripture, but it's just important to grow your faith together as a couple.
4. Make Church a priority. Go to church every time the doors are open and get involved. Find out where you can help as individuals but also as a couple. And if your spouse ever doesn't feel like going, set an example and go by yourself anyway. The result might surprise you.
5. Go to God with conflicts. When people fight with their spouses (or anyone for that matter), usually the first instinct is to run to friends or family and rant about the issue. We tell other people our side of the story and sometimes blame the other party and put them in a bad light. Instead of running to other people, we should run to God. Take the issue up with the Man Upstairs on your own and maybe He'll show you your fault. Take the issue to The Father together with your spouse and maybe He'll help you find an answer.
6. Treat God's word as your first source of marriage counsel. I tell you, there is a lot of wisdom in that book. If you have questions about anything going on in your life, you can probably find answers in the Bible, but especially marriage. Explore the topic and soak in the wisdom.
7. Find other Christian couple friends to spend time with. It's certainly important to make friends with people who have similar beliefs and values as yourself but as a couple it's important to make friends with couples in this category. Being friends with people in similar stages of life is such a blessing. You are experiencing much of the same things in life and can help each other on your journeys.

The one year & Beyond Link up is back!

 EEEK! I'm so excited to be apart of this once again with some amazing mamas! And I'm so beyond excited about our topics. Especially the one for this week  

"Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler"

I think this may be one topic and blog post that we can all take from each other because you can never have too much wisdom on keeping your marriage alive and fresh. Especially after kids.

Here are some ways my husband and I work daily on keeping our marriage alive.

We pray together and for each other// I'd have to say that this is the most effective one for us. I've realized that when I'm praying for/with my husband it's so much easier to feel connected to him not just spiritually but physically too! I don't know about you but I find my husband super attractive  when he prays!

Make some love faces// Sex. Seriously, I feel like topics on sex should be spoken about so much more often on Christian blogs.. Not that I'm a creeper or anything however, So many do not see sex as a gift from God to Married couples and we should be very excited to talk about it. Keeping sex alive after the kids are born can be difficult at times especially when you're a new parent and as they get older they get more busy and so do you. Leon and I try to take one day a week to spice up our sex life. It not only brings us closer, more in love but it's also a huge stress reliever!

Keep dating// I really believe that dating each other is more important now then ever because when you're a parent you can easily get so wrapped up in your kids that you eventually lose interest in not only yourself but your spouse as well. I deeply encourage dating and make it fun and different. Remind each other of why and how you fell in love in the first place. Ask each other fun questions and serious ones. And if there's no way of getting out have a date night after the kids go to bed.

I was a Wife before I was a Mama// This is probably my hardest one. When my days are all about Evelynne and her needs it's hard to remember sometimes that I was Leon's wife before I was Evelynne's mama. And He should always come first to me.  Remembering to write him love letters, make his lunch before work, to kiss him before he leaves and when he comes home and just being there for him and to love on him when he needs me to speaks more volumes to him more then I probably even know because it shows him that he's still first. 

One Year and Beyond is back!!  We just couldn't stay away from this awesome toddler series.  We've gotten so much positive response so far.  Motherhood can be difficult especially with a toddler at home.  So we're here to talk toddler issues, mom to mom.  We've got a great group of mamas who are offering their advice on getting through those challenging times with their child.  Be sure to check out their blogs and then link up your own post on the topic with us below!

Like a Morning Cup of Coffee// From Here to Eternity// The Not Quite Military Wife//

A Cowboy's Life// My Delicious Adventure// Sadie Sky Boutique// Meet the Sullivan's//

Love and Life//  Foxy's Domestic Side// Everyday Love// Life of Faith

July 10:  Keeping your marriage alive with a toddler

July 17:  Favorite summer toddler activities

July 24:  Helping Your Toddler to Communicate (Words, emotions, etc.)

July 31:  Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Aug 7:    Car Trip Necessities

Aug 14:  Deciding when the time is right for baby #2 (and/or how to handle these questions)

Aug 21:  Tricks for eating out with your toddler

Aug 28:  Feeling confident as a mom (How to feel this way, Your struggle with, etc.)

An InLinkz Link-up

Understanding my role as a Biblical Wife. (Biblical woman series)

                   

This is such an important study for me because being a Biblical wife to Leon is my passion. He's such an amazing husband and my best friend so I want to be all that  I can be for him.

Honesty time! I did  a no no folks. You see, I've put my Marriage on the back burner for a bit when I became a mama..  It's something that's so easy to do when you're a first time mom in fact I didn't even realize I did it until I read another blog post about it and realized "Oooops! Am I doing that??"

I guess because I got so overwhelmed with a little person and studying her, getting to know her likes and dislikes and making sure that her every need is met that I forgot to make sure Leon's needs were met too.

I've studied blogs and books on being the best mom I can be and leaving my studies on being the best wife I could be in the dust.  I stopped trying to please Leon, I continued to get behind on washing his clothes, and keeping his meals fresh and even worse I even stopped praying for him.

That's a mistake that took a little hold on our marriage causing us to argue and it's a mistake that I refuse to make again..

Children are supposed to make a husband and wife grow closer and not farther apart. And I believe the reason why that happens sometimes to couples is because they forget that they were a husband or wife before becoming a parent. And obviously it's not the kids fault but the parents.
                                              

Sometimes "we" wives don't run and jump into the arms of our Mr when he comes home  anymore because we're too busy keeping our kids happy.

Or we get behind on laundry because we'd rather be blogging on our little break then folding clothes.

Or sometimes we do "take out" way too often because we don't want to cook dinner..

Which is an understandable thing but not a good thing.

As a wife and a keeper of the house I'm called to be a good steward of what I have.  I was so blessed to have the opportunity to  spend my life with my husband early in life and I want to be a good steward of him and take good care of him.

I'm not saying I'm a horrible wife for getting behind on laundry, or not hugging on him when he gets home from work, or ordering take out when I don't feel like cooking dinner..

What I'm saying is that I shouldn't be making excuses for myself. I get behind on things around that house and I've used my busyness as an excuse.   I get so overwhelmed with piles of laundry but it can be prevented. Doing a load of laundry every day and folding it and putting it away is a 30 minute job at the most.  And planning a dinner menu the week before would make it so much easier to cook each night of the week and allowing myself to have a break from cooking every once in a while.

So ladies, This wife and Mama has come up with a plan to help me be a better Stuart in my role as a wife and house keeper. I'm coming up with a chart and I'm going to write a schedule of things I need to do each day to make my home a cleaner and happier one for my husband. I know at the moment Evie doesn't mind her clothes piling over but Leon does and I'm going to prevent that and make the piling go away.

And I've started praying for my husband these last few weeks every day again and I'm letting him know. Praying for my husband is the most important thing I can do. We can't grow stronger in our relationship together if our prayer life is on the back burner. I'll be posting more on that  next week.