My word for 2015.

  

 It was the other night when I was laying in bed debating if I even wanted to fall asleep knowing my sweet Liya would be up any second now wanting her feeding and millionth diaper change of the day.

I was thinking about the year of 2014 and how it went by fast. I was reflecting on it which got me thinking about the year of 2015.

I don't do New years resolutions. I'm a huge fan of "today" resolutions however, I do have a word for every year and my word for this year I feel like I need to explain it every time I say it.

As I was laying there I happened to ask God what my word for 2015 was?

I honestly was expecting a awesome word that everyone else seemed to be getting like "Fearlessness" or something but what The Lord had said caught me by surprise.

"Your word for this year Heather is "Weakness". 

Saay what? Weakness? But I hate weakness, I hate being weak, I hate feeling like I'm weak and I hate it when people think I'm weak or I assume people think I'm weak. 

Obviously, I wasn't satisfied with my word at first and demanded something else. But God clearly opened my eyes and heart to this word "Weakness"  as He brought me to this scripture

And He said to me,  “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2 Corinthians 12:9

This year in 2014 I hated the word "weakness" because I hated the thought of me being labeled as weak however, God sees our definition of weakness differently then we do. When we think of our weaknesses we think of hopelessness but I believe when God looks at our weaknesses He sees His Son and He sees an opportunity to move mountains in our lives.

This year in 2014 I believe I focused too much on my weaknesses as a negative thing. I stepped down many times, backed off and sat there because I didn't find myself worthy, or enough. I clearly dealt with some identity crisis in the year of 2014 and listened to the wrong crowed a.k.a stupid devil! 

And because of that I can't help but wonder if I missed out? On miracle opportunities. Just because I thought I wasn't good enough or skilled enough to pray over a certain individual. Boy was I fooled.

Until now, I've always thought I was horrible at praying.. Sounds silly? I know! I thought my prayers were ineffective and pointless because I never felt Jesus while praying or The power of the Holy Spirit. I thought they were powerless. So instead of actually praying for people in the ministry team I stood back and just hugged and loved on the people while they were being prayed over by all of the amazing prayer warriors. 

I feel the winds of change moving closer towards me. And they're bringing me off my feet. This year of 2015 my word is "Weakness" This year I will be focusing on my weaknesses and realizing that is where He is strong! So therefore they're not my weaknesses but they're opportunities for Jesus to use His perfect power in me. YAY!

Do you have a word or new years resolutions for 2015? I'd love to hear them and get inspired. :)

They say "I'm missing out."

I'm twenty three years old.. I've been married for almost three years. I have one beautiful little girl and I have another one on the way coming December.

My Instagram is entirely full of my little person and husband.

And my bedtime is no later then 9:30 and 10:00 at the latest if I'm trying to catch up on something.

My definition of fun is family trips to the farm or park.

And the greatest pieces of art I carry are scribblings from a almost two year old and thoughtful words from a Beloved.

So what blows my mind really is when someone tells me or mentions that women like me. Who marry young and start a family are "missing out."

Missing out on opportunities, college, having a life, being successful, traveling the world, Having fun, partying, getting a great career and making a substantial amount of money.

But you know what? Maybe I never wanted to go to college?

Maybe I wanted a family to travel the world with?

Maybe my definition of fun is spending time with a family I call my own.

Maybe my definition of partying is having a tea party with a very special girl.

And just maybe my goal in life isn't to make a substantial amount of money but instead to seek first The Kingdom of God and let Him apply everything else in my life.

Did they ever think about that?

I have no need or desire to cross off every country as places I lived or visited before I turn thirty. Even though that would be pretty cool.

I have no desire for a huge house, nice car and everything a great career offers. I don't need that.

Because my number one goal in life is to serve, minister and to bring joy to others.

To lay down my life as a living sacrifice and serve the One who gladly laid down His life for me.

A girl who was helpless.

And for me, what better way to do that then to marry a man and raise little humans.

To be in a place where my life is never about me and my will is never mine but instead it's over there changing diapers and continuing to choose joy in stressful situations.

To live with a man that doesn't fill my every need and isn't meant to however,  I serve him with everything I am anyways.

My life.. It's hard, stressful but Oh so worth it! Because even though my life isn't about me Jesus never fails to favor me and pour blessings over me.

Because when we're all about Jesus and when we do things for His glory and not our own. He really makes it about us.

If anyone were to ask  me why I married so young and quickly became a mom. My answer would certainly be this:

"Being a wife and mom has not only been my life dream, it's also my calling in life. A calling to be needed, to minister, to teach, to serve, to raise and to choose others before myself."

 And in this place of giving there is really nothing more fulfilling here on earth then to be a mom. I never wanted to live life for me first because I have found in this life journey that a life is more beautiful when you give it away.

I'm not missing out, but instead I have gained so much more then living any other life in this world.


 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. 
-Proverbs 31:28

He's the One that really matters.

       

Sitting here with my morning latte this morning with  some banana bread. I'm surrounded by the peace and quietness that takes place before the day starts. Before the rush of the day takes place when every little thing seems to matter from getting the dishes done to checking  every "to-do" off my daily planner.

This is the time of the day when I usually feel God closest.  When I feel Him surrounding me and covering me with His captivating love, His incomparable wisdom, and strength that never gives up.

Realizing that I could have so much planned today, I could be doing so much.. But truly He's the One that really matters. It's not about me. It's not about Leon (who is starting his five day vacation today!!) and sometimes as much as I believe it, it's not even about my beautiful girls. God's the One who really matters today and  yesterday, and every day after this one.

He's the One I want and desire to please.. What matters to me is what He thinks. Not the moms who  seem to know it all, and not the people who seem to have me already figured out and try to define me.

He's the One who knows my future and holds it with His loving Hands. Because of Him I know that nothing in this world. The cares, the scars, the happenings can hold me down.

He's the One that really Matters. And my continuous prayer this morning and every day after is that I will always remember His presence, His promise, His Truth, His Love, That I can do all things through Him and that no matter what happens, no matter how I'm feeling, no matter what my day seems to be going through. That everyday is a great day because He is God and He is King. The One who brings healing to the sick, salvation for the lost, a place called Heaven for all those who gave and lost their lives because they believe Jesus is forever The King, love for those who seem unlovable, hope for those who feel hopeless, strength for those who are weak, a prosperous future for those who feel like they messed up and a love that's so grand and fulfilling. He's the One that truly and deeply matters in every aspect in our lives.

Where do you store your treasures?

For the last three months or so I've had this post on my heart. But  life has been getting in the way of blogging recently and it's a rarity that I feel like blogging when I lay down.

I haven't written a post like this in a long time.. And God knows I haven't been in the word consistently for  months now. But I'm glad that doesn't stop Jesus from speaking to me and constantly opening my eyes to things that they constantly need opening up too.

Friends, For the first three months of pregnancy I was struggling with ungratefulness. I was struggling so much with what I didn't have and I didn't focus on the wonderful things I did have.

 Maybe It has to do with the emotions from pregnancy or just being an easy  target for the enemy to steal my joy because of exhaustion and not keeping up on God's word. But God is always fighting for me and has been The Word to me and reminding me of The Word when I'm way tired to read it myself.

I have been in want lately. As exciting as my life is right now with my beautiful daughter constantly making me smile, a hard working, loving husband and our new precious baby on the way I wasn't happy with where I was in life. We're still renting a townhouse after almost three years of marriage.

By now I thought Leon and I would own my dream house with all of my dream furniture and decor. And it has been hard for me to watch other moms in blogger/pinterest/instagram raising their happy children in their beautiful pinterest worthy homes and then here I am in the townhouse we're renting with old furniture. I was really in need of a heart change.

Recently I was on instagram going through a friend's page who recently had a house built for her and her family. I was so excited for her but at the same time I wanted to be in her shoes. I prayed and told Jesus I wanted what she had and as always He has the best comebacks.

"Stop focusing on improving and gaining treasures here on earth when you have treasures to be stored in Heaven".

After He spoke to me so many things in my heart came to light. I was so focused on things I wanted in my life here on earth that what I want in Heaven hasn't even crossed my mind.

 If  you were to ask me before why I wanted a big nice house with the latest trends and furniture I would have told you because I want my children to have the best...

But I see now that maybe that's not the whole case. Maybe I wanted what I thought was the best. Maybe I wanted everyone I knew to love where I lived. Maybe it's ungratefulness and maybe it's  pride as well.

Maybe I was thinking these things and desiring these things with my children's best interest at heart but what I was really giving them is a ungrateful mama. And even though I didn't realize it I was planting ungrateful seeds in their lives. By being ungrateful I was teaching my daughter to be ungrateful by telling Leon how I wasn't satisfied right in front of her.. Maybe we do teach our kids how to sin?

I'm so grateful that God has opened my eyes and I'm so glad that He continues to show me things that need to be seen in my life. I never in a million years want my kids to look back at their mama and remember me as the mom who always wanted more in her earthly kingdom but instead I want a legend that demonstrates these two verses.

  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.-Matthew 6:19-21

 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. -Matthew 6:33

 I don't want to give my children everything here on earth and I don't want their happiness and love for me to be based on that. But instead I want to give them the things that can't be stolen, or ruined or become old. I want to plant in them the desire to seek after God's Kingdom and His Righteousness. Because treasures here on earth can only fulfill for a time but God's treasures can fulfill for eternity. And that's where our desire is.

 So my friends, I see my dream home a little differently now.. It's no longer a huge kitchen, with gorgeous furniture, and a beautiful back yard. Those things are nice but like Matthew says these things will eventually wither away and Lord knows furniture will ruin even faster with kids. But instead my dream house now is the house my Father has prepared for me and it's my favorite Home!
                      
Friends if you have been struggling like I have I deeply encourage you to soak up this song.
Remember that it's  impossible to have an ungrateful heart when your hands are lifted high.
Much love to you all!